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Army Sake
Who Will Be Your Secret Saboteur When You Leave The Army
Just the other day I was working with colleagues to prepare lessons for a programme to help people when they leave the army. The question being considered was “What is the most important thing you need to understand for a smooth transition as you leave the army.
There isn’t a single answer to this, and so I spent a few minutes outlining what I believe are the two key disciplines, or states of mind, which you need to master before rip roaring success can come your way.
One of these are your limiting beliefs. Let me explain.
Do you remember being at school and struggling with a subject – Mathematics, for example? I’m prepared to gamble that you didn’t believe you were very good at it. Is it hard to put in the time and effort for homework and exams when, deep down, you don’t think you have the brains to do well anyway? It’s more than hard, it’s almost impossible and what tends to happen is a drip feed of petty distractions. You sit down to revise and the chair’s too hard; you need a drink; you just have to wipe down the skirting boards….yadda yadda. Your conscious mind is saying – ‘for goodness sake sit down and get on with it, or you won’t pass,’ whilst your sub-conscious is whining away with a ‘what’s the point if you’re crap at the subject – it doesn’t matter how much work you do, it won’t make any difference, so you might as well not bother.’ And your sub-conscious is only looking out for you. It’s trying to save you from wasting time, being disappointed and feeling like a failure.
This is a limiting belief at work. The belief is that you’re crap at maths; the limitation comes in because you’re acting on that belief and not getting the work done.
Fine you may say – so I’ll sort it out. However, it doesn’t work like that because for most of the time these beliefs are hidden to us. Often they implanted themselves like a little parasitic marauder during our childhood, and they sit there quietly like a cyst. Implantation can happen as easily as this…
You’re five years old and sitting with your family in the den listening to the adults droning conversation, when Uncle Colin (bless him) proclaims that no-one in the family has ever been any good at maths because they are more creative. Job done. The limiting belief that no-one in the family can do maths, and therefore, neither can I, is installed, embedded and ready for action as soon as you make an attempt to prove it wrong.
And what about those limiting beliefs people may hold as they leave the army. Here are two examples…
“The skills I learnt in the army won’t be appreciated in civvie street”.
“I’m too old now to be offered a good job”.
If you want to smooth your transition into a satisfying new role, then you may need to find and unpick your limiting beliefs. And a belief is only that – a belief. It’s isn’t necessarily the reality. And a belief can be changed.
How do go about changing beliefs? I want to distinguish here between a belief and a conviction. An example of a conviction is that the sun rises in the east, and, unless it is your burning desire to spend the rest of your life hypothesising and philosophising, then I would stay away from changing beliefs like these. Anyway – it doesn’t really affect your performance right now. What we need to find are those beliefs which have seeped in, for which there is no real proof that they are true, and where we may be able to gather evidence to the contrary – if we go looking for it.
So how are you going to blast away your limiting beliefs about no-one wanting your army skills. Get hold of some job application forms and study the person specification. You’re looking for examples where your skills could be useful. And you may have to think laterally. The job specification is unlikely to come right out and say – a bloke who can cook a meal for 300 people in a field in the middle of nowhere in a snowstorm. It could however say – a person who can keep calm in a crisis and work as part of a team.
It’s really all about looking for the evidence you need to blast that limiting belief right out of the water.
And the second key to success? Well, that’s all about overcoming fear, and that scary topic is covered later.
About the Author
I was looking forward to a new life after leaving the armed forces. I didn’t expect to feel like a fish out of water. Using my armed forces skills, I’m now director of Stormchasers and help other ex armed forces personnel to transition to civilian life. Read my story and get your
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– 3 Confidence Building Tactics For Service Leavers
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